Valentine's Day

*Sigh* The past 2 weeks have been full of surprises lately. Unpleasant? Depends. Okay forget that. They are. I don't think I have ever felt as old as I have felt during the past few days. Not everything has been going well: not in the home front, and slightly not at the academic nor professional fronts either. Arrgghhh!! One consolation is that the professional front is the least awful of all, just a minor irritation. Plus the fact that we are moving to a bigger and better office building soon, at a floor where you have a really beautiful and commanding view of the Bay. I truly look forward to that.

I think the only respite that I got from my troubles were the two nights, or more precisely, the hours on those two nights when I saw films with friends. Other than that, it's been quite a stressful, disappointing, depressing, and sad time for me for reasons I won't go into details here. Suffice it to say that it seems that I just aged too much at this early stage for me. So many unhappy and unjust things are going on at almost the same time to me. I feel a bit bombarded. I've never encountered this before. I hope things will turn out better as soon as possible. I feel unsettled, troubled and burdened. I might grow white hair soon!! And lots of wrinkles too!! haha! Am glad I have friends around who can listen to me. Soon, I'd need them more than I ever had before. I feel like going out of town and somehow leave all these stress behind me for even a short time. Help myself clear my mind. Make myself free of the heaviness in thought and in heart for even a short while and come out ready to face these challenges to my spirit again once I get back. I think that would do it. We'll see.

New Year, New Beginnings

Here I am, and I can't sleep. It's a new year. Welcome 2003! Drinking wine here and writing this new entry to put myself to sleep. hehehe! But I don't know, I might pop in some DVD to watch later after I write this. It seems I don't feel like going to sleep. I suppose I'm trying to make the most out of what's remained of the Christmas and new year holidays before I go back to work on the 2nd of Jan. Just 1 day away! Ack!!!

Interesting note: It's now strangely quiet around the house. Normally, the new year's revelry with all those firecrackers or "explosives" if I may say so would still be "playing" outside. The sounds were rather deafening here not more than an hour ago. And that sort of atmosphere usually lasts 'til 2:00 a.m. every year. Until now. It seems the bad economy and aftereffects of 9/11 have taken their toll.

But since it's the new year, I have some new year's resolutions in mind. This year shall be a rather busy one for me I'm afraid. I will start juggling work and masteral studies and keeping myself physically and mentally able to undertake not just both but other priorities as well. Gawd, I'm beginning to feel tired just thinking about such things. haha! :P

In keeping with work, study and other priorities, I have the ff:

Resolution Number 1: take vitamin supplements daily
-very important, as such may help keep me saner and more able.

Resolution Number 2: stop unnecessary dining out/hanging out (read "shopping/eating, drinking and being merry and the like") with friends, full stop.
--Buddies, I have nothing against you. It just means that a hectic schedule packed between work and classes (for a foreign language and for my pursuit of a postgraduate degree) has probably shot down my social life. Whereas I can go out on weeknights before, now, am afraid I have to keep my socializing and hanging out only on weekends with Sundays reserved for myself. Otherwise, I think I might go crazy!! We'll see! They say women are more apt at doing multitasking. Well, that may be true but it certainly has its limits. hehe!

For longer-term goals:

Resolution Number 3: Save save save. 'Nuff said.

Resolution Number 4: In keeping with No. 3, stop unnecessary shopping
--and reward myself with a trip overseas later in the year and probably make up for it. Har har!! :D

Hmmmm... I have so far just the above resolutions. The rest aren't fit for public consumption. :P So Happy New Year! Bon annee tout le monde! Cheers! Time for that DVD...

Lop Rabbit

See that rabbit at left? I find it so cute. It's an orange Holland Lop Rabbit. It's not a stuffed toy that's in the picture but an actual rabbit. hehe! Something called a lop rabbit. And I'm looking to buy one. Unfortunately, I doubt if I can find one for sale in Manila.

El Primero Hueves de Diciembre

Had a rather uneventful day. Just work at the office. Then home. Watched The Amazing Race on the AXN cable TV channel for two hours. Can't believe John Vito and Jill were eliminated. They're my second most favorite team. Then spent some 4 hours yakking on the phone with a friend from 10pm 'til 2am. Ack!!

El Primero Sabado de Diciembre

Spanish language class this morning.
Then lunch.
Then Christmas shopping in bazaars for gifts for family and friends. I find it more difficult and time-consuming looking for the right gifts for family. Aaarrggghhh!! Anyways, I certainly do hope to get all the gift-buying done today.

Shopping for Work

Bridget Jones' Diary is playing in my DVD player while I write this.

Divisoria Shopping

Have 1K from office petty cash. Will shop. Ack! It's just my assignment for our office Christmas party of sorts on the 12th = buy prizes for the games. So, have the 1k, will shop. :P

Recalling the late afternoon shopping I did earlier. Bought the ff:

- 6 mugs
- 4 other items for prizes
= bag
= organizer/filofax
= wall clock
= big colorful 101 Dalmatians towel
- 25 Christmas wrappers for all the items in plain frosty blue, pretty indeed. :P
- a giftbox for the towel and
- a set gift cards

bought all of the above along Juan Luna Street and was left with P151.00 out of the 1000K budget. Not bad. My first Divisoria shopping expedition went quite well if I may say so. :P
Without my wallet clandestinely stolen by some itchyhand bad street character. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! ;)

Quarterlife Crisis: Is there such a thing?

What is quarterlife crisis? It refers to that state in the 25th year of a person's earthly existence when not many things in one's own life seem to be going the way he or she wants to. It's like a midlife crisis, only this time, it's something that happens when you're 25.

Case in point: you're 25. You've been in a job for maybe 2 or 3 or 4 years. And yet what you thought you always loved doing doesn't seem to mean as much to you now.

Another case: you haven't really known yet what it is you really want in life and still don't know now.

Or even when you do, it seems that fate is working against you, and you don't get to attain what it is you want even when you already have your plans of attaining it mapped out.

So you get to a point when you're 'doing'. But that's it. You're just 'doing' -- getting by in this state of your existence for the sake of existence. It's bound to get you feeling depressed somehow or another. That's a life existing in crisis, an existential one; only now, it occurred earlier than expected.

It's just good to put this in writing; especially after a get-together with friends, who, it turned out, happen to be currently experiencing the same thing albeit in varying degrees. I wouldn't have thought that several other people I know seem to be in the same state almost at the same time: they are resigning from their jobs, are thinking of resigning or have already resigned, are reassessing their careers, seeking some other source for a sense of fulfillment, etc.

So anyway, enough of this crap. I'm rambling. ;) I'm such a bad writer. Gotta go and live my 20-odd years.

Lunes

Aarrgghh! Back to the grind. To not forget to lug around laptop to office. That's a must-do for work: bring home the laptop on weekends then bring it to the office the next Monday. I bring it home on weekdays only when there's work to be done at home.

Brought some Clinique items and two Liz Claiborne wallets to the office for officemate to see about buying from my neighbor Lisa from the States.

The Philippines: A love-hate relationship

There are several things to dislike about the Philippines just as there are also several ones to love about it. The following are my take on my likes and dislikes in living here.

LIKES

1. the people - fun to be with, friendly and know how to party :P

2. the weather - can get too humid sometimes but it's better than getting depressed over several days of gloomy or cold weather

3. the provinces - reminds one that Manila is not the Philippines; ergo, life is sometimes really better outside of Manila

4. Makati - don't know where else I can find lots of really pedestrian-friendly sidewalks; plus I like walking so its sidewalks help a lot. ;)

5. beaches - one can find them almost everywhere. They make for an easier excuse to go out of town on weekends. hehe!

6. a bottle of cold San Mig Light - great taste, good for chilling out, especially when I was in Boracay

7. Malate - I like that this area is a hot spot of all sorts of interesting places as well as people (artists, bohemians, professionals, rich and poor) and not just elitists/ wannabes/ and pretentious people. It has a character that's all its own.

8. Bohol - am glad this place doesn't aspire to be as urbanized as Metro Manila or Cebu; plus it's so clean, no garbage to be seen anywhere

9. Manila - despite its certain unattractive factors, it's the only place in Metro Manila that holds more historically significant edifices, institutions, streets/avenues, districts; thus salvaging my pride in whatever's left of my cultural identity. Plus its old districts are still more walkable than later-built cities.

10. those makeshift swings and benches made of bamboo and hemp near Bom Bom Cafe in White Beach, Boracay at night

11. that a weekend or day trip outside of Manila is easy to arrange

DISLIKES

1. politicians - Life is full of governmental politics in Manila that I've almost ceased to care about Philippine politics and would rather leave them to their bickerings.

2. Metro Manila pollution - makes one really feel unclean after spending the whole day out on the road

3. garbage - in Metro Manila, that is.

4. ugly sidewalks in Metro Manila.

5. the fact that I haven't truly appreciated where it is that my taxes go to. All I appreciate is that it goes somewhere (or to someone else) infinitely less desirable

6. the craze over basketball when most of the populace is vertically challenged relative to their foreign counterparts for such a sport; the only time I enjoy it is when it's the UAAP games (competition between unversities) between my alma mater and another team

7. Filipino time -- tardiness is my pet peeve

8. when the President reiterates that poverty causes terrorism when in fact it's the thieves in congress/senate who should be identified as the culprit. It's because of their corruption in government that makes poverty continue to exist pervasively in the first place. Maybe she should state instead that it's the graft and corruption in the country that's the cause of terrorism.

9. inane noontime variety shows - there's just so much song and dance numbers and contests one can take.

10. when people take things more personally than most or make a big deal out of nothing and start politicking on a rather insignificant matter

11. when people hedge or beat around the bush whenever he's asked a question with a yes or no answer; thus making one's plans go haywire when it was so easy for those plans to not have gone that way from the beginning

12. hailing cabs at the Ortigas center, or rather, the high number of picky cab drivers at the Ortigas center - I swear, for a supposedly urbane business district, I've never had as much trouble hailing a cab from the Shangri-La Mall to a building (less than 10 mins. away) in the Ortigas Center as when I did so here. Both locations are within the same vicinity. Hailing cabs in Makati to go to another place in Makati is a breeze compared with hailing a cab in the Ortigas Center to go to another area of the Ortigas Center. I wonder why this is so?

Domingo

-cleaning out my closet to donate unused and old clothes to the Sisters of Charity (?) -- Mother Teresa's institution

- attend mass
- be a lazybones =
-- lie around reading the Sunday papers.
-- finish reading last week's Time Magazine issue.
-- or go out to Intramuros to do some photography work

Contraptions - A biased guide to the worst-designed products of late

1. cigarette: The surgeon general's warning says it all I suppose.
Redeeming Factor: helps fight stress

2. this kind of drinking glass: I believe it's more prone to getting knocked down, falling then breaking compared with mugs for instance
Redeeming Factor: It still does its job trying to contain whatever it is we put into it.

3. the ubiquitous plastic CD jewel case: chips off, breaks, cracks easily; a waste of material
Redeeming Factor: protects your CD, in the meantime that is

4. Windows OS: Need I say more?
Redeeming Factor: the most widely used PC operating platform

5. women's high heeled shoes: a lesson in torture; easily gives one blisters, calluses, leg cramps, etc.
Redeeming Factor: helps add some sophistication


*Photo of hand-held glass from Getty Images.

The Best-Designed Products -- A biased guide

1. sunglasses -- thanks to Ray Ban

2. mugs -- can hold hot or cold drinks. A mug is sturdier and less prone to getting knocked down or off a table and risk getting broken more frequently than most

3. trains -- can carry a large number of people of all walks of life, freight, animals, vehicles, etc. for short or long distances

4. bikes -- non-pollutant, plus points for health benefits physically as well as environmentally, no need for a license

5. jeans -- comfy and never goes out of style

6. the telephone -- without it, there'd be no faxes, mobile phones, nor the Internet today

7. coffee -- helps keep one awake; very useful for programmers

8. Internet -- made sending and receiving mails faster, cheaper and more convenient; plus points for the tons of data one can get doing research

9. post it note

10. the Mac

Software Development Life Cycle

There are eight steps in a software's development cycle. The 9th step is called job security. These get forwarded through email a lot among those working in software development. And I so related to these steps when I first read them that I felt sorry for myself after reading them. haha. After all, which other profession can make one groan in frustration, and sometimes, despair several times in a day? When, just as one has begun to think he's solved a problem or bug, another or more comes up, to one's horror. :P The ff are the 8 steps and my take on each:

1. Define what you want the computer to do.
-- and have a purpose to your programming work

2. Decide how your program shall look onscreen.
-- this step is somewhat parallel to step no. 1

3. Draw your user interface using common parts like windows, menus and command buttons (otherwise known as objects or controls in programming jargon).
-- enough said

4. Define the name, color, size and appearance of each object (These are called the object's properties).
-- We wouldn't want these objects to have identical properties and make our programming life hell, do we? haha. ;)

5. Begin coding to make each object do something.
-- This is the part where I should say, "But of course." So, But of course!! :P

6. Run your program to see if it works.
-- This is unit testing. It's when apprehension/excitement/stress starts to set in because.......

7. If the program doesn't work correctly, cry. It's required.
-- It happens: sometimes to one's absolute horror, innumerable colorful curses and temptation of throwing the PC out the window.

8. Fix any errors or bugs in your program.
-- Relive the strange mix of ambivalent emotions one goes through while doing this: elation, anxiety, exasperation, frustration, despair (?), doggedness, apprehension, excitement, horror, relief, etc.

9. Repeat steps 6 to 8 over and over again until you get tired of searching for more bugs.
-- Then, develop stomach ulcers in the process out of all the stress of doing them for extended periods of time.

So really, there goes a day -- or make that several days/weeks/months -- in the life of a software developer: sit in one's wretched butt the whole day doing these tasks, undergo all the aforementioned emotions, and then after all of the fuss, feel the accomplishment of several days' worth of hard work. I say "accomplishment" is the word. I refuse to say fulfillment. It's a far cry from fulfillment. And I wonder who would say otherwise. After all, work isn't always supposed to be fun or profitable.

So here's a quote I gathered from a book I just read for all developers out there: If a complete moron (like your boss) can use your program with little or no hitch, then most other people can use your program as well. So cheer up, until the next bug comes up. ;D

Juice

Caught a new TV program last night while reading up/studying VB6. The program is called Juice and I found it enjoyable watching it. It's like a magazine program with topics on fitness/health, space organization/interior design, fashion, travel, etc. in a fun, lively, humorous and engaging manner. It's obviously targeted towards audiences who are between the ages of 15 and 30.

I found it so engaging, that I who don't watch fitness programs, actually watched that section of the show. For last night, a segment of the fitness show used a sort of "infomercial" method in presentation: complete with hosts/subjects who, while talking, has their lips not moving in tandem with the voice dubbing. Quite funny really. hehe. And most of their hosts are non-threatening-looking ones: meaning, they resemble us ordinary folks. Some look like college kids while others are young professionals. The show's somewhat of a change from the usual more structured lifestyle programs. I liked it.

Masterals

Am contemplating taking up masteral studies: MS Economics or MA in International Studies major in European Studies. Am thinking:

MBA -- is quite common and am not too interested in it.
MS Economics -- sounds extremely interesting, however, it seems it might have a heavier workload than most. Tsk!
MA International Studies -- hmmmm!!!

Cooking Show

Just saw this cooking program on TV hosted by Wolfgang Puck. Second time I caught it on TV. I'm aware he is a chef who owns (or maybe used to own) the Spago restaurant in California; but again, for the second time, I found myself laughing while watching the show. Somehow, I find how he says things quite amusing, particularly with his Austrian accent. I'm certain the amusement shall wear off soon. :P

VB6

Studied, or rather, read the first half of "Visual Basic 6 for Dummies" by Wallace Wong. So far, it's aptly titled. It is indeed for dummies; well at least, the first half of the book (the one I've read so far) is. Hopefully, the latter half won't be a disappointment. Glad it was something I borrowed and not something I actually bought. hehe. I guess I'm reading the wrong book. It's best suited for beginners in programming.

Hello? Hello?

Been itching to buy a new mobile phone or PC lately. My current mobile phone needs to be replaced soon. It's become a text messaging device cum alarm clock rather than a phone. Not sure if it's because of the battery (the second one so far) but the phone dies 5-10 seconds after I answer a phone call or make one. Talk about frustration. Any phone model suggestions? Nothing too high end and complicated for me (like Nokia's Communicator type models). Am thinking of the 6510.